Designing Routines that Work: Nighttime Edition

Bedtimes stories and baths were our nighttime routines as kids... what happened to them? 

The Importance of the Night Routine 

One of my favorite podcasts is the 10% Happier Podcast with Dan Harris, and one of my favorite episodes is the one where he interviews Arianna Huffington of the Huffington Post. In this episode, Huffington shares her story of over-exhaustion and lack of sleep that ultimately ended with her in the hospital. Following this event, she wrote a book about the importance of sleep, called Sleep Revolution. What I want to talk about in this post stems from what I initially heard in this podcast episode and the importance I have found in this information and how you too can benefit from it. 

Huffington made a point in the episode about how we have nighttime routines when we are babies and young kids when our parents are still in charge of putting us to bed, so that we as children understand the situation and that it is time for our bodies to relax. 

 It was so interesting to me because, as she points out, somehow we totally disregard this really relaxing and enjoyable routine as we grow older. Especially today in the technologically driven society we live in, it is so hard to shut our brains down, so hard to resist the urge to check Instagram or send out a few more emails, and so hard to not get pulled into the binge-watching culture. Everyone who can relate, say "I"!

I have talked about creating various types of habits in previous posts, such as creating a morning routine to help start your day off on the right foot and incorporating a daily routine for time management and organization, so once I realized the importance of a nighttime routine I simply had to share! 

Routines are great ways to ease anxiety and create stability in your everyday life. I have benefited immensely from having a morning, daily, and now night routine. My disclaimer to you is that everything you read on this blog that I am supporting, I encourage because I do them myself and all that I share comes from my personal experience and success. 

Morning routines have seriously helped me get into a sleep routine and ensured that I show up for myself when I plan to work out or practice yoga. Incorporating a night time routine into my evenings has helped me calm my brain and body down from a busy day and has given me a block of time to look forward to where all my devices are shut off but I'm not expecting myself to immediately sleep. 

I have blocked out two hours in my calendar where, depending on the day and my appointments, I stop doing work or finish a TV show by 9.30-10pm, so I have 30 minutes to an hour (or sometimes even hour and a half) to do my night time routine.  My calendar alerts me 30 minutes before my nighttime routine is supposed to start so I can wrap up whatever I'm doing.

 I'm going to be honest, the timing doesn't always work perfectly; sometimes there are evening events or my schedule the next day requires me to prepare a bit more or I have some time to sleep in. I have realized that the timing is not what matters. The timing definitely helps you get into that routine, but if the time is not exactly to the "minute", the world will keep turning. What I believe is more important, is what your actual routine entails, and make sure those aspects are non-negotiable.

Some things to Consider 

The things that should be non-negotiable are the aspects of what you are doing in your nighttime routine. Do you already have a nighttime routine? As basic as it is, you have some kind of routine; you brush your teeth and wash your face, and at the very least you are taking off your clothes from the day and (maybe) getting into PJ's. Maybe you read a book for a while. Maybe you take a shower. All these things are part of your "before sleep" routine. Take a moment and reflect and what you already do and how you can make those activities more of a special relaxation habit. 

Here are some ideas and activities to consider incorporating into your nighttime routine:

Water and Baths. Warm water in the form of a shower or bath and help relax and warm your body at the end of the long day. The other psychological aspect that I benefit from, is taking a shower at the end of the day and really feeling like you are washing the day off. Anything negative that happened or any stress or any to-do's that you're still hung up on, let them go. 

Disconnect & Screen time. Blocking my nighttime routine into my calendar helps me disconnect from all my screens with the 30-minute warning. Having a routine of things I do at night also helps me let go of any "co-dependence" I felt with my phone. I no longer answer emails or scroll Instagram until moments before I turn my lights off and go to sleep. 

Studies also show the importance of disconnecting from screens an hour before you plan on going to sleep, so that you give yourself and your brain enough time to relax. Having a nighttime routine that lasts at least an hour helps you disconnect from technology more easily, as you are putting your attention towards other things.

Essential Oils. I LOVE essential oils. I think they work magic. Feeling sick? I'm ALL about that oil of oregano. Feeling stressed? Throw on some lavender oil. Headachy? Where's my peppermint oil? I could go on, but I think you get the point. As I mentioned, lavender is an oil that helps with relaxation and can help ease anxiety or stress. If you want to incorporate (or already take) baths as part of your routine, maybe put a drop of lavender or eucalyptus in your bath water. If you are not that bath kind of person, put the essential oil of your choice on your temples, below your nose so you can inhale the wonderful scent, or on the back of your neck. There are so many other options and uses but here's just a little start. 

Meditation. My own nighttime routine has truly helped me incorporate more mediation into my life. I was continuously trying to meditate during my morning routine but I found myself either snoozing the alarm and discrediting my goal to meditate more or I would still be so sleepy that I would be dozing off instead of actually meditating. 

I still meditate in the morning but in a different way. Meditating as part of my nightly routine has truly helped me release stress and anxiety from my day and find calm. Not only did meditating at night help me find stability in my own self and body, but it helped me relax and I was finding it easier to sleep. 

I am not here to sell anything, but I do greatly benefit from two apps that guide me in my meditation. My favorite app is called Simple Habit that really breaks your mediation into categories you may want to focus on, such as anxiety, stress, sleep, focus, break-ups, and loving yourself. You can test the app with a 7-day free trial. After that, the app costs a few dollars a month. If you don't want to or can't afford to commit to that, no worries. That is the main thing I love about Insight Timer; I completely free! They also have some wonderful meditations, music, and you can even just set a gong timer and meditate on your own. I find it a bit more difficult to find a meditation that is along the lines of what I am looking for but when I have time to sift through I always find a great session. 

Gratitude & Reflection & Journaling. I have always wanted to have a gratitude journal to help me focus on finding joy in everyday life when my automatic response was to stress and struggle. As part of my routine, I now write a few things (usually 5-10) that I'm grateful for from that day. You may be thinking that 5-10 is a lot but it's amazing how many things, often times very mundane things, I find gratitude in. This part of my routine takes no more than 5 minutes and its the first things I do now when I get into my bed at night. 

Creating your own night routine

Think about your current routine again. What do you do before going to bed every night? Anything? Or do you see the time, close your laptop or whatever it is you are working on and crawl into bed with a still buzzing and active brain?

Maybe you are already doing some things regularly before you go to bed, but you have not acknowledged them as a night time routine. What are those activities? Do you read a book or take a shower? Do you set out the clothes you are going to wear for the next day or make a cup of tea?

Grab a piece of paper and a pen or pull up an empty word document. I'll wait.
Brainstorm a few activities you would like to have in your nighttime routine. How much time do you want to put towards the routine? Maybe start with 10 minutes and then increase to 30 minutes next month? Do what works for you and only add things to your routine that will make you look forward to this part of your day.

My Routine 

Here would be the important activities I want to include from my brainstorm: meditate, shower/bath, read an inspirational book, practice gratitude, and journal.

My standard routine consists of making a sleepy time tea and getting into bed. Once I'm in bed I journal and/or write down a few things I am grateful from on that day. Journalling does not always happen unless I really have something weighing on my heart that I need to get out and work through.

After I journal, I'll read my inspirational book if it's not too late or I'm not too tired. This is not one I am very good at sticking with, but reading motivational books allows me to reflect on my own life and get excited for my future and creating positive outlooks.

The last thing I do, after I have set my alarm and put my phone on silent, is meditate. I like to have my phone on the other side of the room, plugged in, so I can go to bed after the meditation finishes without having to touch my phone. I also like to create a relaxing atmpsohere with candles to have lit during my nighttime routine.

When I have more time and really need to give myself some self-care and love, my routine looks a little different. The first thing on my routine to-do list is have a bath or shower. I am a bath person, so I get all my essential oils and epson salts and candles ready and create a relaxing environment.