A truthfully honest post about how we cause ourselves pain and stress when we forget that we have to put our happiness above it all
Something that has been a constant pattern in my life is that I get sick when I am most stressed. In middle school i would get stressed when school started back up again, because I would go from beautifully empty and easy summer days back into the work grind. I always took work and school very seriously as well, which led me to stress myself out even over the amount of work I had to do back then.
Similar situations happened in high school, but it always seemed better to be able to go home at night to a home made meal and distance from school. My mind could actually relax a bit, even if I was stressed.
Now especially, getting sick when I am the most stressed is far from helpful, and really does not help my stress levels at all. But I have come to learn that getting sick is a clear sign for me that i need to SLOW DOWN.
Is your life really balanced?
And honestly, it is self-inflicted sickness. I push myself too hard, I don’t give myself the time to slow down and relax, I’m always planning, and Ive decided that there is such a thing as being too organized that being organized can actually stress you out. Planning is a good thing but it makes me always look forward to the next and then the next thing - always going through that list in my head, over and over again. I have to do this, and then i have to do this. And in the end I’m not even enjoying the work I do because it is always about getting things done and stressing about getting the next thing done. My brain is jumping around filing up on the stress of having to do everything that lies ahead. And i am definitely not staying present in this moment.
Even if I feel like I’m balancing waking up for workouts in the morning, watching a show, or reading my book before bed, or working on my next post, it is not balanced if, as soon as you are done one thing, you go right onto the next thing and not give yourself the time to appreciate the moment or the day or that achievement.
Time can be your enemy, or your best friend
Time is the biggest stress creator. The constant making of to do lists and that hard work to make sure they are all checked off by the end of the day can result in either a wonderful feeling of accomplishments (having checked everything off), or a disappointing feeling (if you did not have time to complete the massive list of to-dos).
Even though I am a big fan of being organized and making to do lists, its important to stay present throughout all of the things that you need to get done. This is the one major thing I have realized with the repetitive colds and flu's I get during stressful times. The to do lists are never ending which results in me setting myself up for failure. Most crucially, my to do lists do not involve breaks for relaxing or doing things that make me happy and counter the stress of getting things done. Through doing this, I hope to practice and improve my relationship with time and make it a positive one rather than a stressful race.
Breaks are not considered cheating
I am also the kind of person who struggles to take breaks before all the work is done. So I’m always trying to look to the next thing to look forward to when i can finally “afford” the break (which honestly is never, because you can NEVER finish your entire to do list of life - there is always something that will come up). It doesn’t have to be so black and white though. I can work for 30 min, and then take a break. I need to enjoy the work and the learning instead of feeling a though I need to “finish” it all in order to be happy
Happiness is NOW
I need to be happy NOW. Later will never come. I am making myself sick because all I do is go over the list of the piles of work that I feel weighing down heavily on top of me. I need to put that pile aside and just take bites of it that I can chew, one small bite at a time. Because I do love being at university and learning and working. But I have to change my mindset in order to do that in an enjoyable and exciting environment. Instead, I feel like shit. Physically.
I need to do things for myself - make time to read my book, write my blog, go on long walks not worrying about the time. And I’ll get done what I need to get done. That is the bottom line. And done is better than perfect. I need to look at each little thing from a big picture perspective…. the world is so tiny and this single assignment or stressful feeling is insignificant in the big picture of things. All I need to do is get the basic important things done. Everything else is great to know and do, but it is not vital.
Affirmations
I need to cheer myself on a bit more! I am smart. I am organized! Thats one thing I’m actually really good at. I know I got this. All i need to focus on, in my situation, is this assignment I am working on now. Then I can move onto the next thing. What are your affirmations? What things can you tell yourself to motivate yourself and love yourself a bit more?
"I am smart. I am focused. My thoughts are calm and under control. I trust myself to make the right decision. All problems have a solution. I am a positive thinker. This too shall pass. My body is healthy and functioning in a very good way. I am conquering stress, defeating it steadily each day. Challenges help me grow. I am full of optimism. I can accomplish anything. Everything happens for a reason."
Show yourself that you are there supporting, always.
Things that I personally need in my life to be HAPPY! ... And maybe you do too!
Music!
I need dance parties where i can let of steam! I need music in my headphones when I walk to campus to get my blood flowing and my energy up! (Even if I look like a unaware, technological millennial zombie). When else am i really going to have time where all I am really doing is listening to music? Working and listening to music just doesn’t cut it.
Reading
Reading books about self-help or self-awareness or bettering your life make me happy! Reading about positivity and life lessons that I can apply make me really enjoy where I am at in life and taking on the challenges that await me, because I truly feel (and know) that i can! I would like to read these books for 30 min in the morning to really get me pumped for the day!
Soaking up Nature
My favourite days and memories are those spent doing something outside. Yes, that includes going for a walk, but I would like to take that a step further. I love enjoying the beach in the summer, going on hikes in the forest, taking in pumpkin patches and apple picking orchards in the fall, and talking Christmas light viewing walks in the winter. Enjoying something outdoors with a purpose or a potential adventure that awaits gives off a productive feeling as well as one of pure happiness!
Mediate and Practice Yoga
I always find that I feel more at peace and really happy with myself and where I am at after I practice yoga in particular. Similar feelings come from mediation, but that is definitely a practice I need to work on a bit more! I general it will really allow me to be aware of being in the moment, even in the most stressful of times. That way I am also not always so overly concerned with checking things off my list and always looking to the next thing.
Find YOUR Happy
Take a moment of silence and think about all the activities that make you happy. What are some things that you do, and time seems to fly by? Do you love the feeling you get when you are being creative? Does time cease to exist when you are painting or writing? Even if you are not a creative person, there are coloring books for adults that are can act as a calming and de-stressing activity.
Maybe relaxing means being active. Plan time for this. Make time for an afternoon hike, or a walk into town and spend an hour at a coffee shop. Maybe going for a sun set run is exactly what you need at the end of the day to make time for yourself.
These shouldn't take up to much time to the point that they make everything else that you have to do even MORE stressful. It can be incorporating one small thing each day that is truly for you, that makes you happy inside.
I get so carried away when there is a lot going on, that I forget to find moments of peace and joy in between. I have found that making time for some of these small things makes the work seem a little bit less stressful. Giving yourself time for yoga or a run, taking a crisp fall walk, or pumping yourself up to music in your breaks can alter your tired mindset to a positive one. It can keep you motivated but also remind you to take time off, and BE DONE with work at one point, so that you have time for yourself, NOW.
